Removing the what ifs from life


No one is immune from failure, with the exception being the one who has never tried to challenge their beliefs. The what if cycle creates a series of self-limiting beliefs. When we hang onto the what ifs of our past, we provide energy to the self-limiting beliefs that we have developed and give them space in our life. When we are listening to someone, we have given them space which can create healing. However, giving space to the self-limiting beliefs created from the what if cycle creates remorse.


Life is just a series of choices. We make choices every day, and many of those choices we do not even realize that they have been made. There are those big choices that we can fret over, those that can create anxiety, and those that can cripple us as we are so uncertain of the outcome. The irony is that many of those small choices that we never consider are the ones that can lead us towards those big hairy audacious moments in which an over whelming choice needs to be made. Creating the mindset of understanding how each choice can create a future impact, regardless of how small, enables us to make wiser choices moving forward.


There is hope. Your past will only define you as much as you allow it to do so. You can define it as your calling card to creating your fully lived life or you can make the choice to allow it to define you as someone stuck in the past. It is the difference between a victory and victim mindset. The victim views their life within the prism that they can never amount to more. They may view their impact on a scale of 1–10 as a 3 and will not allow their level to exceed their personal life view. If they begin to see a level of success, they may self-sabotage their success to remain at the level they believe they reside.



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Rob Fenstermaker

Rob Fenstermaker

A recent empty nester just trying to figure out this stage of life with the woman I love while sharing our fondness for travel.